Summer Camp

Today two of my kids are in camp. Most of the summer I let them hang out and we go to the zoo, library, etc. but I finally broke down and did a camp. I really needed it and I think they did too. Here is the funny thing- now they are there and I cannot figure out how to spend this last hour before I pick them up. My youngest, by some miracle of God, is still sleeping. I think there is something that kicks in for moms about being efficient in all things and places that to simply have a quiet hour without folding laundry, writing, reading, picking up toys (for the second time) seems foreign. I sometimes don't know what to do with myself and then feel guilty. Shouldn't I be doing something? Planning my next record? What am I forgetting? I feel on the clock as my times alone are few and far between.

As I go through their closets this summer and pull out old clothes and shoes to pack up or give away I am living the cliche of time passing so fast with my kids. I crave more time and their independence, then in the next moment I wish they would stay just as they are now. I think this is part of the tension in being a parent. Learning to be in the moment, enjoying the passage of time as James Taylor so wisely describes it. It is a sweet time and I want to be present in it.

Wishing you all a wonderful and memorable summer with the people you love.